Can we be honest for a second?

Most of the time, when we’re scared to do something we really want to do, it’s not because we don’t know what we want.

We know.

We also usually know exactly what people are going to say about it.

That’s the part.

We can already hear the questions.

Why would you do that?
You sure that’s a good idea?
What if it doesn’t work?
People are going to talk.
You’re doing too much.
That doesn’t even sound like you.

And sometimes that shit will have you second-guessing something you were completely sure about five minutes ago.

Because putting yourself out there is scary.

Being seen is scary.

Changing is scary.

Especially when the people around you have gotten comfortable with the version of you they already know.

But sis…

How long are you going to keep getting little glimpses of the woman you once thought you would become?

You know what I mean.

That random thought that hits you when you see somebody doing something you always wanted to do.

That little ache when you think about the business you never started.

The book you never finished.

The place you never moved to.

The relationship you stayed in too long.

The version of yourself you keep saying you’re going to become “one day.”

At some point, you have to decide if you are okay with spending your whole life remembering her.

Or if you’re finally going to say:

Fuck it.

And become her.

Today.

Not when everybody understands.

Not when you have everybody’s approval.

Not when you stop being scared.

Not when the timing looks perfect.

Today.

I say fuck it.

Fuck what it costs.

Fuck what it brings.

Fuck who understands it.

Fuck who doesn’t.

Because this is your life.

And you are the pioneer of this entire series.

You get to decide what season comes next.

You get to decide what character gets written out.

You get to decide what storyline is over.

You get to decide whether the next chapter looks like something you chose…

or something you settled for because somebody else’s opinion mattered more than your own.

And baby, that is a hard truth.

Because sometimes we give people way too much authority over lives they don’t even have to live.

They get an opinion.

You get the consequences.

Think about that.

They can tell you not to go.

Not to start.

Not to leave.

Not to try.

Not to change.

And then when you’re sitting somewhere five years later wondering what your life could have looked like?

They get to go home.

You’re the one who has to live with it.

So eventually, you have to choose yourself.

And choosing yourself doesn’t always look pretty.

Sometimes it costs relationships.

Sometimes it changes friendships.

Sometimes people misunderstand you.

Sometimes you will disappoint somebody.

Sometimes you might even disappoint the old version of yourself.

But the truth is, you cannot heal and stay committed to every version of yourself that was created by survival.

You can’t.

At some point, you have to decide which space you’re going to live in.

Trauma or healing.

Fear or freedom.

Familiar or fulfilled.

And no, choosing healing doesn’t mean you’ll never be scared again.

It means fear no longer gets the final vote.

That’s different.

Because you are responsible for what happens next.

Not for everything that happened to you.

Not for every wound somebody gave you.

Not for every lesson you had to learn the hard way.

But what you do with your life from here?

That part belongs to you.

And I know that can sound heavy.

But I actually think there’s something beautiful about it.

Because if the choice is yours…

then so is the possibility.

So sis, can you talk?

Like really talk?

Do you actually want the life you’re living?

Or have you just gotten good at surviving inside of it?

Because those are not the same thing.

And maybe today doesn’t need to be the day you figure everything out.

Maybe today just needs to be the day you stop abandoning yourself to make everybody else comfortable.

Maybe today is the day you finally say:

Fuck it. I choose me.

And see where that takes you.

— UT
Without the I.